I've come this far, I hope I don't run out of new plans.

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A Really Long Movie

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve just finished watching a really long really average movie. It wasn’t a bad movie. It definitely wasn’t the best. It had some good parts and some bad parts, but over all it wouldn’t be worth watching again. Still, I feel deeply compelled to talk about it, analyze it, and figure it out. After all, it had some really good parts, so what dragged it down to be so average in the end?

My problem is that this “movie” has only been seen by one other person in the world, and I’m not able to talk to her about it. The last I heard from her, she also just found it to be average, but at this point I don’t know if she has changed her mind and now completely hated the movie.

I’ve tried talking with friends about this, but they don’t or can’t fully understand. They can’t give truly informed feedback on something they never experienced themselves. I have grown tired of bothering my friends about it. But I still feel that need to talk about the movie that for better or worse changed the last 10 months of my life.

Maybe she will eventually want to be friends again. Till then, I wait.


A New Source

Yep… Yesterday I found a new source of job listings other than craigslist and the other crappy sites I have found. As long as I don’t mind filtering out all the “real” jobs mixed in with the others I’ll be set for a few days of application grinding. I filled out a total of three new applications yesterday. Maybe I’ll find some more today.


The newest applications out:

FedEx — So I can make people copies all day!
PetCo — So I can help people find the right food for their gerbil!
Toys”R”Us — So I can wonder around aimlessly looking at board games, Hot Wheels, Legos, video games, Nerf guns, RC cars, etc.!


Now it is time to call those places and ask if they got my application! Then I’ll change the oil in my scooter and scooter around some places. Bye!

-Josh-


Sleep?

Why the hell am I waking up at 6:30 pm?

I admit that I went to bed at around 5:45 am and probably didn’t actually fall asleep till 6:30 am, but that doesn’t mean I have to sleep for 12 hours!!

I suspect that I woke up earlier in the day and just went back to sleep. My dreams are much more interesting than real life, but I had plans to get shit done today. I was going to call a few places about jobs. After that I was going to try to change the oil in my scooter; she needs it badly. I know 6:30 isn’t too late for a lot of things, but I still feel like I’ve wasted my day.


Possible employment ideas:

  • Non-medical companionship for the elderly, Compensation based on certification and experience (aka: low/none)
  • Customer Service (nondescript craigslist ad), Compensation $10.00/hr
  • Receptionist at a pet-grooming salon, Compensation: $7.25/hr
  • Taco Bell
  • McDonalds
  • Etc.

Anything else?… Probably not… I’ll try again tomorrow. Bye!

-Josh-


Okay, I’m ready now.

I am starting a blog, but unlike a lot of other blogs out there, this isn’t about letting people know everything about me.
This is about me trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I think having a place that I can put ideas out there and possibly get some feedback might help. I honestly don’t know what I want out of life any more and I’m ready to figure it out again. If that means I have to open the Book of Josh up to the internet for a while to see if someone else out there can interpret things a bit differently then I guess that is what I am going to do.
I’m a “recent” college graduate. I’ve had my BS degree in Natural Science for about 10 months now and have done almost nothing with it. I had one interview for a job that required a degree, then I worked at Wal-mart for 6 months. And now I have been unemployed for 4 months.
Originally I planned to be a high school science teacher. Then I realized when I was almost there that I didn’t want that. So I decided to try to work in a science museum. Those jobs are 95% volunteer positions. So I settled on laboratory work. Hey, I have the degree; why not use it? No luck there. Then Wal-mart came along and sucked my soul out! My experiences during those six months left me unsure of everything. I don’t know what to do next. Who am I?! What do I like?! Who are Really my friends?! What do I do?! What can I make?! WHAT NOW?!?
“[People aren’t] meant to know what they want. They are meant to think they do… then attain it… then realize it wasn’t what they wanted after all.”

-My Brother-

Sometimes he is surprisingly insightful, if not overly pessimistic. I’m still not sure if I agree with this, but I know it does happen quite often to a lot of people.
So now I am going to try really hard to not fill this blog with too much “feely” stuff. I don’t want to be depressing, but honest and thoughtful about my past/present/future. I’m sure I’m not the first person to feel this way, so maybe my journey can help you, maybe your journey can help me. We will see with time.
(And because this is how I used to end my blogs on Xanga) Bye!
-Josh-